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8 Steps to a Smooth Divorce
from: Howard IkenCopyright 2005 The Divorce Center P.A.
1. Become educated on all aspects of Divorce. Reading the
various websites available on divorce is an excellent start.
Read every document available. Complicated subjects always
deserve a second reading. Then, read your State Statutes on
divorce. You will find they are written in almost-plain English
and are understandable to the average person. State Statutes can
be found by entering your state and the word statutes in most
search engines. Look for anything that sounds like "marriage" or
"domestic relations."
2. Buy books on Divorce. Generic divorce books are a good start
and will give you a good overview. But they will not completely
do the job. Every state has different laws and requirements for
divorce. So you need to look for a divorce book that specializes
on your state divorce laws. Check local bookstores or online
bookstores. But be aware: laws change and books become quickly
outdated. That will not present a problem as long as you use the
book for general education.
3. Take the "high road" during your divorce. Behave perfectly,
beginning now. Cooperate with your spouse on arrangements for
children. Do not waste, destroy, or hide assets. Take on the
appearance of a "saint." You will be happier, more relaxed, and
less destructive to your family and assets. Most important of
all, the spouse that takes the "high road" always does better in
a divorce trial. Judges like to see you take the "high road."
4. Use your newly gained knowledge and plan two possible
outcomes: your best possible outcome and your worst possible
outcome. Be realistic and put it in writing.
5. Use your knowledge of your spouse. Try to imagine what is
going through your spouses mind. Make an educated guess and
write down what sort of outcomes your spouse might pick. Come up
with a best and worst outcome that you imagine your spouse would
come up with.
6. With four possible outcomes on paper, you now have an
overview of the battlefield. Using that information, see if you
can work out a combination of give and take that approximates
"best" outcomes for both spouses. It doesn't need to be perfect
but you should try your best. When done, you have a powerful
plan that will help you in negotiations.
7. Be involved in your divorce. Actively negotiate with a goal
of peaceful settlement. Don't use destructive techniques. They
only look bad for you at trial time. And never be afraid to ask
your attorney questions. This is your divorce and you have to
live with the result. The well-informed person will always come
out ahead.
8. Last, become an expert on every word printed on legal papers
and pleadings. Ask your attorney, look up definitions in books,
or ask other experienced people. Don't assume anything. This is
your life - not your attorney's life. Treat this situation like
it is the most important event of your life. Again, the
well-informed person will always come out ahead.
About the author:
Howard Iken is a Divorce Attorney practicing divorce law in
Tampa Florida. You can find out more about Tampa Divorce Courts
by visiting
http://www.18884mydivorce.com/pub/Main/tampa-florida-divorce-cour
t.htm More information on general Divorce issues can be found at
http://www.18884mydivorce.com
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