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This is a selection made from among articles on Divorce On Line. For a permanent link to this article, or to bookmark it for future reading, click here.

How To Divorce Like You Are Buying A TV

from: Liz Wertman




The facts are that 75% of all US and 50% of all Canadian marriages end in divorce. Divorce is rated number two on
the scale of the most life altering stressors. During this difficult time you have to deal with everything thrown at you, all at once. It is a difficult, confusing and intimidating time to say the least.

Initiated or not, both spouses are put in the situation of requiring a lawyer, usually for the first time. At $100 to $300, sometimes more per hour, you fight to get 50% of your assets, only to give a large portion of it to your lawyer. It could amount to 10% or more of your half of the assets. That means you are really dividing 80% of the total marriage assets, instead of 100%.

Why are you sharing 20% of your
marriage assets with your lawyer? This money is yours and you childrens!

Understandably, both sides are
unprepared, having multiple issues to deal with at once, so they hand over control of their lives to their lawyer. They feel their lawyer will
only think of and work for them. You must realize your lawyer has hundreds if not thousands of clients. You are only a file number to them.

If you saw your lawyer at the store
there's a good chance he or she will not recognize you. Your lawyer took your case,not because they care about you, but because they care about the income you will provide. The lawyer would have taken your spouse's case had he or she gone to them first.

Why then would you let your lawyer make these life altering decisions for you? Knowing this, why would you hand over control of your divorce, your life, your future to your lawyer? Under this situation, when the divorce is over, both sides feel taken
advantage of by their spouse and their lawyer. They have spent $100s to
$1000s of dollars unnecessarily.

This scenario can be avoided by preparing for your divorce in the same manner as you would buy a TV.

When you decide to buy a TV, would you go to the store and tell the salesman to pick a TV, any TV for you, the leave the store knowing you'll get whatever TV the salesman wants you to have?

NO WAY!

You wouldn't give a salesman that much control over your money! He or she would certainly take advantage of you. You would have spent $100s of dollars unnecessarily.

Instead, you would research and compare, brands, size,features, color, sound. You would take brochures home
and think which would benefit you best. You decide what you can afford and which model and store would give you the best value for your hard earned dollar.

You can do the same to prepare for your divorce.

Research the costs, benefits, and how it affects your life. How much does your lawyer charge? What retainer fees would he/she require? Are you comfortable with that? If not, find another. Your lawyer is YOUR employee.

What does he/she charge for things like faxes, phone calls etc All miscellaneous necessities involved in your case can either be reduced or eliminated. You just need to ask how!
Your lawyer will not voluntarily tell you how to save money on your legal fees. That would be against his/her best interests!
Unless you are earning more than the $100 to $300 per hour your lawyer is charging you, you should do the legwork.


Gather all the information required regarding your marriage and financial situation. What was your's, pre marriage? Is there an inheritance or business involved? Look over all of your financial papers, noting account numbers and balances. Do a full financial disclosure so both you and your lawyer will know where you stand at the first meeting. Your lawyer will take care of informing you of the actual laws of your state/province.
You should have knowledge of and take care of everything else.

You need to discover the personal and financial consequences pertaining to your situation so you can minimize them.

By preparing you will be able to make informed decisions that will put you in control of your divorce. You will be in a position to negotiate with your spouse and your lawyer with self-confidence. Amongst the multiple benefits of preparing for your own divorce are retaining more assets
as well as reducing your legal fees.

After all, there's more at stake than choosing the wrong TV.

Liz Wertman
"Divorce Strategy for Men and Women"
is an insider's view on legal, financial, tax and personal issues.
Written with compassion and understanding.
http://www.divorcewell.com


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